


Feathers

by maywemeetagainlove



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Breaking Dawn au, F/M, Twilight Team Jacob, the wedding night one shot nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maywemeetagainlove/pseuds/maywemeetagainlove
Summary: AU Breaking Dawn one shot. The morning after Bella's wedding night. What if she realized who she couldn't live without and it was her best friend?
Relationships: Jacob Black/Bella Swan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.

I groggily opened my eyes.

The sun was shining directly in my eyes so I shielded them and turned away. Did the sun have to be _that_ bright this morning?

I rubbed my lids before trying to reopen my eyes once again. I blinked a few times. "Jake?"

No response.

I felt with my left hand for him but only came into contact with sheets and air. And something else. Something soft and fragile, gently bunching against my palm when I closed my hand around it.

I lifted my hand to examine the unknown object. Were those...feathers? What the--? I dropped them on my other side and attempted to sit up, clutching the sheet to my chest.

I gasped when I felt pain surge throughout the lower half of my body and fell back down to the bed. The pain had dulled into a rather delicious ache, reminding me of events from the night prior, and I relished in it. I stretched languorously, enjoying the new feeling enveloping my body.

Last night had definitely been the best night of my life. There were no words to describe the beauty of it. No words for how perfect I felt in this moment, how complete. No words.

_I stepped out of the shower, drying myself off quickly before wrapping the towel around me. I wiped some of the condensation off the mirror and stared at the girl looking back at me. Would she be what he had always imagined? I winced as I realized I would probably never compare to whatever version of me he had dreamed up. I bit my lip and hugged myself tighter._

  
_I was nervous._

  
_I knew I didn't need to be. After all, this was my best friend. If I could trust anyone, it was him. He knew me inside and out, he knew every little thing about me, perfect and imperfect, and yet he still loved me._   
_And I loved him._

_That conviction gave me the courage to stand up and make my way out of the bathroom and walk out to the deck, ignoring the screaming urge to stop and dress, to cover up, while also ignoring the huge bed in my line of vision. I marched right up to the hot tub where Jacob was suspended in the middle, his short black hair in wet disarray, his back to me, looking up at the moon and the stars in the night sky. It was an unusually clear night for this part of Washington._

  
_I noticed Jacob had stripped down to his boxers, his shorts sitting in a messy heap next to the tub, which made him a bit more dressed than I was. Again, I felt compelled to run back to the room and grab the nearest bit of clothing I could find but I stuffed the urge back down and removed the towel, letting it fall to the deck, anxiously awaiting for Jacob to turn around. It was freezing, like always, but I did my best to ward off the cold along with my fears._

_I knew he could hear me,_ had _heard me this whole time, but he never turned around._

_I carefully climbed into the warm water and approached him from behind. I stopped just inches from him, hoping I wouldn't make a fool of myself with how assertive I was being. I laid my hand on his back before pressing a timid kiss to the spot right in between his shoulder blades._

_He jumped slightly and tensed. I immediately started to panic. I had done something wrong. I just knew that I would mess this up. Before I could think on it anymore, Jacob turned around._   
_He smiled warmly at me. "Hey, Bells," he whispered._

_I smiled in return. "Hi, Jake," I whispered back._

_And then his eyes dropped, seeing that I was bare before him. His eyes roved over me hungrily, widening slightly, and I could see the dark shade reappear in his cheeks once more. I worried my lip nervously as he took in every inch of me and I waited for his evaluation. I knew Jacob loved me but...I wasn't sure that I was really what he...wanted._

_His gaze slowly lifted to mine and I noticed his eyes were darker than before. He stared at me in awe. "Wow."_

_A laugh erupted out of me. I couldn't help it. I was relieved that he wasn't disappointed but I found it funny that while Edward probably would have been more eloquent and poetic in his reaction, Jacob was just...Jacob: honest and right to the point, no grandiose gestures, no suavity. He spoke purely from his heart and never shied away from wearing it on his sleeve. Especially with me. And that's why I loved him so much._

_Jacob's cheeks darkened and he bit his lip, casting his eyes down to the water between us. "Sorry," he whispered._

_I could see the hurt and embarrassed look on his face and it broke my heart. Did he think I was laughing at_ him _?_ Way to go, idiot. _Leave it to me to worry about being humiliated yet I would be the one to embarrass him. Of course._

_I stepped closer to him and put my arms around his waist, pulling him into me. He refused to glance up but I cupped his chin and forced his eyes to mine. "Jake, I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at me."_

_He narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "And why would that be?"_

_It was my turn for my cheeks to be flushed. I bit my own lip and looked down at his chest. "Because I'm nervous." I laid my hand on the spot where his heart beat steadily. "I've never..."_ Come on, Bella, just say it. _"Done this before," I whispered so quietly that had he not been a werewolf, I doubt he would have heard me. "I was worried you might be...disappointed or...something."_

_His hand encased mine, holding it in place. "Far from it," he whispered into my ear. The feel of his hot breath against it made my skin tingle. "You're perfect, Bells. So beautiful."_

_I closed my eyes and swallowed, not sure I really wanted the answer to my next question, but I had to ask it. "Have you...done this...before?"_

_It felt like forever until he finally answered. "No," he breathed out._

_My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head to stare up at him. "Ever?" I was in shock. Surely, there had to be someone. He was sixteen, after all, and not hard on the eyes. He had the body of a twenty five year old at the very least, and he was built. Add in his warm personality and his kindness and how could any girl resist? Not to mention how fun he was to be around and how smart he was and how amazing he was..._   
_He was still blushing and he smiled, his white teeth gleaming against his russet skin, chuckling in embarrassment before looking back up at me. "Ever."_

_"But, Jake, you're...beautiful...and amazing...girls would be all over you. How would you not...?" I shook my head in confusion._

_He leaned his forehead up against mine, staring into my eyes. "I told you, Bells." His hot breath dancing teasingly along my lips made the hair on my arms stand up on end as electricity coursed through me. "I only see you."_

_I threaded the fingers of my other hand into his damp hair and pulled them through repeatedly. I could feel the warmth spreading in my cheeks as I gave him a meek smile and then laid my head down on his chest._

_"So, I upgraded from 'sort of beautiful' to 'beautiful', huh?" I could hear the smile in his voice and I grinned._

_"You were always beautiful, Jake. Always."_

_He kissed my head and hugged me tight before drawing me back to look down at me. He gently smoothed the hair away from my face before pressing his lips to mine. He moved his hands to the small of my back and his fingers dug into my skin, pulling me in closer to him. I kissed him back and was about to deepen the kiss when he broke it and stared down at me sadly._

_"I was so scared I was going to lose you, Bells," he confessed to me in a whisper. "I don't know what I would have done..." He frowned and shook his head. "If I had lost you. I thought that was the last time I was ever going to see you."_

_I moved my hand from his hair to his cheek, stroking the smooth skin softly, trying to stroke away the pain in his eyes. He must have been in agony. I knew how much he had hoped I would stay human, how he kept counting down the days and must have continued when he left. It pained me to look at him now, to see the dark circles under his eyes and know they were there because of me. I reached up and kissed his nose. "You won't ever lose me. I promise you, Jacob. I love you."_

_"I love you, Bells." He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss me again, this time with a little more fervor. My hands immediately buried themselves in his hair and tugged, moving him closer to me. Our lips moved roughly against each other and it wasn't long before I felt his tongue parting mine._

_Our breathing through our noses was loud and harsh and it was obvious we were both badly in need of some air. Neither of us seemed to care as we got more into it. All of my shyness, my timidity, seemed to vanish into thin air, leaving a glowing ember deep within me that was now being stoked into a full flame. A flame that rapidly spread through every nerve ending of my body. The tiny splashes in the water created by our bodies as we moved sounded so far away, as if they were happening somewhere else with two other people. All I could hear, all I could see, all I could feel, was him._

_Before I could register what happened, Jake had lifted me and wrapped my legs around his waist. He pulled away, gasping for air as I continued to press kisses against his jawline. I heard more splashes and felt him step out of the tub._

_I moved back and covered his lips with my own, kissing him deeply. He lifted me once more and repositioned me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck accordingly and he again drew back to get air. His eyes were blacker than midnight and his chest was heaving in and out at a rapid pace. My own breathing was out of control._

_I waited until he got a few good breaths in and then brought my mouth back to his, making him wildly gasp against my lips. I made sure to push his head into mine. I wanted him closer...impossibly closer. I didn't care if we melded and became the same person. I just wanted him as close to me as he could be. He seemed to agree because his left hand snuck up to the back of my neck, fisting in my hair, and pulled me into him just as much. He kissed me so passionately that I was almost dizzy, struggling for air when he finally released me. He nipped softly at my lips and carried me back into the cabin like the bride I had been just a few short hours earlier._

_He walked us over to the bed and then laid me down gently. He pulled away, turning his back, and in a movement faster than I could see, his boxers were nowhere to be found. He cautiously turned around to face me and I quickly blushed and looked down. My shyness was back with a vengeance. I knew I was being ridiculous. I wanted this. With him, always him, but...I was still nervous._

_"Bells..." He sounded nervous, too. The need to protect him and care for him activated once again and it gave me the courage to bite my lip and lift my eyes to meet his. His own face was a shade darker. "Are you sure you want to...do this?"_

_I stared at him. Jacob. My Jacob. I loved him so much. I wanted him. And I could tell he wanted me just as much. I needed to be brave, to start us into the next phase of our relationship. That thought made me pause. Relationship. That's what Jake and I had now. We were two parts of one whole. We would meet in the middle and fill in each other's gaps, complement one another in a way that only we could._

_He may have had the body of a grown man but the face staring back at me was very much a young boy's. A teenage boy that had no clue what he was doing. A boy who wanted me, loved me, but was uncertain and anxious because of his inexperience. A boy who needed my help._

_I forced myself to take a deep breath and then slowly got to my feet. His eyes watched me warily and almost sadly, as if he was afraid I was going to reject him yet again. It made my chest ache, seeing just how much I had already hurt him. I wanted to reassure him, promise to never cause him pain ever again._

_I stepped up to him and met his gaze. We stood there, neither of us knowing how to continue, how to make this happen for us. Both of us were afraid to say the wrong thing, make the wrong move, and end this night before it even began._

_I could feel the heat radiating off of him and I did my best to keep my eyes glued to his and not let them drop to what I had gotten a sneak glimpse of before. Part of me wanted to see, to examine that part of him I had never known. The part of him that my body would be overly familiar with by morning. Another part of me didn't, worried that if I indeed saw what was going to join us that I might just chicken out. That would only hurt him more and I couldn't have that. Although, I knew, if it came down to it, he would wait for me forever. He had already proven that._

_His face started to fall, taking my silence and position I had not moved from, as me changing my mind. "Maybe we should--"_

_Before he could finish, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. I let out a tiny gasp when I felt his hot arms do the same around my waist. It would definitely take a while for me to get used to feeling the heat of his skin on mine in that area._

_"I love you," I whispered to him. "I love you, Jacob. It's always been you."_

_I could see his dark eyes shining brighter than they had been a minute ago. "I love you, too, Bells. I love you, too," he whispered back._

_We held each other like that for a while, studying one another. Soon, he started to softly rub the small of my back and I could see his eyes take on a darker hue than before. His breathing started to increase and he kept glancing back and forth between me and my lips. Not to mention that I felt something hard thicken against my stomach. He was ready._

_"How...do we...?"_

_My nerves were at an all-time high. He was asking me what he should do to get the ball rolling. Without thinking, I gulped and he heard it. His eyes snapped to mine and just like that, I could see the fire dim in them._

_"We don't have to. I'm sorry. I thought...Bella, we don't have to. Relax, honey." The circles he was making on my back expanded their arcs. "I'm sorry," he whispered._

_"No, Jake. I do want this. Really. It's just," I bit my lip and looked down. I was immediately grateful that we were too close together and that I didn't see much of anything. "I don't know how to do this," the strained whisper clawed its way out of my throat to let another lump form after it. I closed my eyes and hung my head._

_His fingers lifted my chin. "Bells, look at me," he pleaded._

_I reluctantly opened my eyes to find him smiling warmly at me._

_"Neither do I, honey, but you already know that." He chuckled and hugged me tighter. "This is just us, Bells. Just you and me. We're overthinking it." That caught my attention. Hadn't he said something similar to that when he had kissed me before the battle with Victoria and the newborns?_

_Jake looked unsure. "I mean, I've seen...things in the Pack mind. Maybe I could...do something like that...to help. It always seems to work for Jared and Kim. Sam and Emily, too. And even Paul." He snorted at the end._

_My expression went from disbelief to disgust in seconds._

_Jake held up his hands. "Honey, I told you. We can't help it. They don't choose to share just like we don't choose to listen. It's a wolf thing. It can't be helped." I narrowed my eyes at him and he rolled his. "It's not like I enjoy hearing those kinds of things, Bells. Jeez, I mean, it's Emily. And Kim! You think I want to hear_ that _?" He grimaced. I arched an eyebrow and he sighed again. "Come on, Bells. You know me better than that."_

_I smirked. "Yeah, you're right. You're lucky that I do, you perv." I promptly raised my hand and smacked the back of his head._

_He smirked right back at me, not bothered in the least by my hit. "I don't know about that, Bells. You are technically the one trying to sleep with me here. If anyone's the perv, it's you."_

_I scoffed and crossed my arms. "Please. As if you haven't been fantasizing about something like this ever since you met me," I teased._

_He grinned good-naturedly. "Of course I have."_

_"And_ I'm _the perverted one?"_

_"Without a doubt." He wriggled his eyebrow playfully, making me laugh and wrap my arms around him again. This was good, this was us. This was comfortable, easy. Just like Jake said._

_He went to say something else, a witty remark no doubt, when I kissed him. I kissed him with everything I felt for him, everything that I had always wanted to say, always wanted to show him but couldn't before._   
_Sure enough, our kissing turned heated and within seconds, we were moving closer to the bed. He pulled away, gasping for air as I did the same. "B-Bells, should I try to do what Jared--" I didn't even wait for him to finish. I didn't want us to lose this momentum now that we had it. I was completely focused on him and I wanted it to stay that way. There was no need to recreate scenes between any of the other wolves and their girlfriends. Jake had been right before. We had been overthinking it. And I certainly didn't want to start again now._

_"Just keep kissing me. Don't--stop--kissing me." I crushed my mouth to his and we both fell to the bed, Jake turning us so we landed on our sides and not with him on top of me. We scrambled around, our lips never leaving each other's, until my head hit the pillow and he was on top of me, keeping all of his weight in his forearms._

_"I love you, Bella," he mumbled into my lips._

_"I love you, too," I mumbled back before kissing him once more. His grip tightened on me, pulling me into him more, and the fire consumed me just like I hoped it would._

I smiled at the memory and went to sit up again, this time much more cautious than before and gingerly moved back to the headboard, hissing each time the pain overwhelmed me. Yet, the knowing satisfied grin never left my face.

Once I sat back gently, I took the opportunity to take a better look around me. And what I saw made me gasp in surprise.

There was a crack in the wall near the door. The table next to it, where the glassware had been, was now clear, the shattered remnants of its previous occupants on the ground. The curtain rods that had been hanging over the windows were knocked down and in disarray. Lamps on their sides were split in two, if not in pieces. This led me to glance at the feathers at my side. There were tons more than I had anticipated, the torn pillows littered across the floor of the other side of the bed. The mass of feathers next to me caused something else to catch my eye. A large thick crack in the smooth wood of the headboard on Jake's side stood out, loudly announcing its rough treatment resulting in the damage.

"Holy crow," I whispered in astonishment. I covered my mouth with my hand and couldn't help giggling into it.

The turn of the knob on the door made me straighten up quickly, tightening my hold on the sheet wrapped around my body. When Jake snuck into the room, I relaxed in relief and smiled warmly.

He glanced up and saw that I was awake. I then noticed his cheeks flush a shade darker than normal and he gave me a shy smile. "Hey. You're awake."

"Yeah."

He approached me, carrying what looked like a tray of coffee cups with a brown paper bag sitting in the middle. "I thought you might like...some coffee."

I smiled wider. "That would be great. Thanks." He held out a cup to me and I accepted it gratefully.

He sat down on the bed next to me and placed the tray down before opening up the bag and pulling out a wrapped item. "Hungry?"

I arched a brow at him. "Absolutely. I think we both worked up a pretty good appetite, wouldn't you say?"

Jake glanced down, chuckling, yet the dark flush was back. He handed me the food. "Yeah. Egg and cheese with ketchup. Your favorite."

He flashed me his signature grin, the one I loved to see him wear, and I took the food, moving carefully to sit up fully so I could eat. The sheet slipped a little in my movements and I heard a startled gasp next to me. I didn't even have to look to know Jake was in shock and it had nothing to do with my freshly bared top half. Sure enough, one glance confirmed I was right. "Jake, what's the matt--"

His hand immediately flashed to my side, gently feeling near the bottom of my rib cage.  
I looked where he was intently staring and noticed a huge bruise forming. "You're hurt."

"No. No, Jake. I'm fine."

He raised his worried eyes to me and it stabbed into my chest. I hated to see the pain reflected back at me. "Tell me the truth, Bells. I was...pretty rough last night. I hurt you, didn't I?"

I started to shake my head but as always, he could read me like an open book. I saw the pain get worse and I placed the food down on the bed and moved in closer, taking his face in my hands. "Jake, you didn't hurt me. I'm okay. A little sore but...that's expected the first time. It's okay."

Unbeknownst to me, while I was distracted trying to reassure him, he had stripped the rest of the sheet from me, revealing more of my skin that was becoming splotchy and discolored. "Oh God, Bells." He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me into him gently. "I'm so sorry. I should've...I should've had more control. God, I'm so sorry."

I could hear his voice breaking, in between anger at himself and sadness at hurting me, and it made me want to cry. How was it that just a few minutes ago I felt complete, happy, with what had happened between us last night and now we were both on the verge of crying? I needed to stop this. I needed him to smile, to know that I was alright.

I pulled back quickly and forced him to look at me. "Jacob." He looked at me, the pain still swimming in his dark eyes, almost overwhelming me once more. I took a breath and continued. "I am not hurt. I am a little sore, yes, but I am not hurt. I always bruise easily, you know that. And I don't have any werewolf healing abilities, so of course you're going to see them for a while. I promise, I'm fine. Although, I do seem to be covered in feathers. I definitely need a shower. Care to join me?" I smirked at him but he wasn't buying it.

He rubbed my bare back slowly, tenderly. "Maybe I should take you to a doctor or something. The hospital. Just to make sure you don't have any internal injuries or anything."

I glared at him. No way was I going to a hospital. What were we going to tell the doctor, that my werewolf boyfriend got a little rough our first time together and that he controlled his lupine instincts by damaging everything else so he didn't hurt me? Yeah, I couldn't wait to rush to tell him that. "Jacob, I. Am. Fine. How many times do I have to say it?"

He stared at me in disbelief. "Are you kidding me, Bells? Have you seen this room?"

I sighed loudly and glanced around the room to give him the satisfaction. "Yes, and let me just say, that those curtains, for this room? Uh uh. They needed to change things around anyway so we just helped them get started." I pointed to a lamp on our left across the room. "That lamp? Hated it. So, really, we did them a huge favor."

I looked back at him and he had his eyebrow quirked at me quizzically, almost asking if I was indeed serious.

I sighed again and hugged him close. "Jake, I'm fine, I promise. Please don't worry. Okay? Please. This is pretty much the best morning of my life and I don't want to ruin it because I'm still human. So, please, believe me. I'm fine. Please?"

He sighed in response and smoothed my hair back behind my ear and over my left shoulder. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. He closed his eyes and placed his forehead against mine. I pulled my fingers through his hair at the back of his neck soothingly. The slight tremors that had started when he had made his discovery slowly dissipated and I swore I could hear a rumbling coming from him as so often did when he was happy.

And then it hit me.

I clapped my hand over my mouth and scurried to get off of him, wincing and groaning the entire time.

"Bells, what the--are you alright?" His arms caught me before I fell off the bed.

"Mweedmruthmueeth."

He narrowed his eyes at me in puzzlement but smirked. I was glad to see this side of him returning despite my ridiculous ability to worry everyone around me that I was always close to death or injury of some sort. "What was that? You want to repeat it please? In English this time perhaps?"

I glowered at him and cracked my fingers open slightly, speaking through them. "I need to brush my teeth. I need...a human moment." I stopped talking before I could make it worse. Had I really just spoken to him like he was--no, I refused to think the name. I had made my choice and I couldn't have been happier. Just as I didn't want Jake to taint this morning with his worry, I would not taint it with the past. This morning, the morning after, was for Jake and me alone.

His confusion intensified before he laughed and yanked my hand away from my mouth. He leaned in to kiss me and I struggled to get away.

"No, Jake. Don't! I have to brush my teeth!"

He clasped the back of my neck and pulled me to him, me resisting him the whole way. "Shut up, Bells." 

He kissed me fully, his hands fisting in my hair to pull me in even closer, and eventually my struggles died away and I kissed him back. I couldn't fight him anymore. I didn't want to. What was the point? I loved Jacob and he loved me. And I was his now completely. Well, almost.

He drew back, smiling his sunny smile, and stroked my hair softly. "You sure you want to take that shower now? I could give you a massage, make you feel better. I'm pretty good with my hands, you know."

I rolled my eyes but bit my lip and I could see his own eyes darken at the sight. I wanted nothing more than to stay here in his arms and let him do what he would, but I felt the need to shower, now more than ever.

"I really do need to shower," I slowly attempted to crawl off of him and get to my feet. "And brush my TEETH!" I had started to fall, my legs not able to stand fully on their own yet, unbeknownst to me, when Jake caught me, again, and swung me into his arms.

He smirked again at me. Why always _the_ smirk? It's almost as if he got a kick out of my extra clumsiness this morning, making me totally dependent on him. "I'll make you a deal, Bells. I won't make you go to the doctor today if you go and let Sue have a look at you."

I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks. "Jake, no. I'm not going to ask her if what happened last night broke any bones!" I crossed my arms, infuriated that he would even suggest such a thing. "Do you know how embarrassing that is? I mean, I might as well go to your dad and ask him so he can tell Charlie what happened. No way!"

He rolled his eyes at my dramatic outburst. "Bells, relax. Sue's not like that. She doesn't gossip like those two old women. She's a nurse and she's in the know. I would like her to take a look at you."

I huffed in annoyance and refused to look at him. How dare he force humiliation on me like this?

"Honey, do it for me. Please?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head. Why was he doing this to me?

"It wasn't that long ago that you asked me to be good and listen to the doctor. Even though, I didn't really want to. You remember that?"

I dropped my arms and turned to him in annoyance. "Jacob, that was completely different! All the bones on your right side were broken!"

"And how do you know yours aren't?"

"Wouldn't I be screaming in pain right now if they were? Weren't you?"

"Okay, answer me this. If I put you down, would you be able to walk to the bathroom on your own right now?"

He had me and he knew it. There was no way I could make it on my own right now, not without a great deal of difficulty and pain. That had been proven when I tried to stand moments ago. I wish we had left a pillow intact last night so I could hit him over the head with it. Not that it would do anything but at least, it would make me feel better. Note to self: must take up stock in crowbars for future use. Either that or buy Charlie's baseball bat off of him. Tell him it's for home protection or something.

I glared at him and he glared at me. Clearly, I was not going to win this one. And I really did not want to fight with him. Not when something so wonderful happened between us only hours ago, not on our first day together.

I sighed impatiently and crossed my arms again, staring up at the ceiling. "Alright, I'll see Sue. There, you satisfied?"

I felt his lips brush against my ear lobe. "Nowhere near it."

His husky whisper sent chills throughout my body like it always did whenever he spoke in _that_ tone. I turned towards him, laying my head against his shoulder, looking up at him, smiling slightly, my anger with him quickly melting away. "I need a shower."

His smirk got bigger. "So, you keep telling me."

I smacked his chest and he chuckled. I wrapped my finger around the collar of his dark t-shirt, playing with it nervously. Anything I said right now would be cliché and sound like it was out of some cheesy movie. Especially since I knew it would not come out the way I wanted, like the sexy siren I wanted desperately to portray, but more like the inexperienced girl I really was. Despite last night, I did _not_ feel like a woman. Not yet. And even though I knew he was just as inexperienced, he was better at saying what he wanted and when he wanted to say it. He had already proved that. But me, that was an entirely different story. "Will you take one with me?"

His brows arched a little and once again the heat flooded my cheeks. I desperately wanted to retract that question or explain it away as fear for my current legless condition but I forced myself to quell the nerves and keep my perspective on the situation. I was here, naked for all intents and purposes, in the guy's arms that I just asked to shower with me. A guy that by now knew everything there was to know about me. Why was I so nervous?

I tugged on his collar. "Would you like to?"

He grinned and carried me off to the bathroom. He carefully set me down on the sink counter, frowning when I involuntarily let out a hiss. He took a deep breath and started the shower. He set it to hot and then proceeded to undress.

Normally, I would have been blushing like crazy and averting my eyes but there was no longer any need for that. The only thing left to do was appreciate him in his full splendor. And to think I had told him he was sort of beautiful back in the day. What had I been thinking?

Once he was completely stripped, he picked me up and stood us in front of the shower, waiting for me to check the temperature. Once I gave him the okay, he stepped us in and pulled the curtain closed behind us.

  
He gently placed me on my feet, not missing my wince, and leaned me towards him, facing him. "Hold onto me, honey."

While he lathered shampoo into my now wet hair, I found myself wondering if his intentions were the same as my own. It was our first shower together. I wanted to make it a memorable one. But something told me he wasn't going to allow me to nor for the rest of this _trip_. I frowned at the thought when he slowly turned me around to rinse out the shampoo.

Since there wasn't any conditioner, he lathered up the soap and began spreading it softly over my body. His hands gliding smoothly over my skin was enough to make me ignore the pain I felt and beg for him to reconsider. "So, let me guess, now, because of this, you're not going to...at all?" Even though I had already done it, I still had trouble verbalizing it.

His eyes snapped to mine and his hands froze. "Of course not, honey. But...you need to heal first. And I need to learn how to control my instincts better."

I sighed sadly and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Jake..."

"I'm not saying no, honey. Just not right now. Give it a day at least. Let's see what Sue says and if she thinks you're okay and you feel better soon, then...we'll try again, okay?"

He kissed my nose and I hugged him, burying my head into his wet neck, ignoring the soap I was now transferring to his skin from my own. He tenderly started to rub my back again, forcing me to close my eyes. I loved it when he did that.

"Are you in a lot of pain right now?"

I shook my head. "No. Just sore. Like I ran three marathons back to back."

He laid his cheek against the top of my wet head. "I love you, Bells."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Love you more."

He laughed at the familiar memory and drew back a tiny bit to nuzzle me. "Stealing my lines now, are you?"

I lifted my head and pulled him down to me for a kiss. Next, I lifted his hands, soap covered and wiping away the suds with my thumbs, kissed both of them before placing a kiss to the spot on his chest where his heart beat underneath.

Before I could do anything else, he leaned down and covered my mouth with his. He picked me up gently, carefully wrapping one leg around his waist and then the other and held me up against the wall.

He didn't do what I expected him to. Instead, he focused on kissing me, rubbing my bruised sides as he did. Whenever we needed air, he would move to the bruises adorning my hips, making sure to hold me still and keep me suspended while he moved. With each kiss, I felt his 'I'm sorry' for last night. But no matter what he did, no matter what he said, he would never make me regret it. Never.

Eventually, he lowered me down cautiously, finished washing us up and rinsed us off. He turned the shower off and stepped out, holding my elbow, before turning and picking me up, cradling me close to his damp chest.

Where I expected him to dry us off, he merely grabbed the towel and carried me back to the bedroom. He sat me down on the bed, laid out the towel and then laid me down on top of it. He laid next to me, kissing me and then my neck and then my collarbone. 

I bit my lip, running my fingers through his shorn hair, watching him as he kissed more and more of my skin with such a loving tenderness and reverence. Almost as if he was worshipping me, grateful at the sacrifice I had given him last night and no one else. I know I was grateful, for him, for us, for everything we shared and still would.

Who would have ever thought that my best friend Jacob would be the one to give me such an incredible gift and I him? Why had I been so anxious and impatient to rush things before? There were no words to express the relief and happiness on my Jacob's face when I informed him I was still intact, in every way. No words.

Little did I know that Jacob intended on continuously apologizing until I was overwhelmed with my love for him, my marvel at his unselfishness and willingness to protect me and care for me, and I had no choice but to forgive him, even though there had never been anything to forgive in the first place.

.

.

.

.

I lifted my face to feel the slight sea breeze on my cheeks and then dance along my loose curls, brushing them over my shoulder to my back.

I had forgotten how beautiful La Push truly is.

Hard to think that not that long ago, I had been up here for a different reason. I guess I really hadn't stopped to take in the sights that day.

Jake and I had just come from Sue's. As embarrassing as that conversation had been, she gave me the all clear. Just bruising and soreness. That hadn't surprised me in the least. Jake, while rough, had also been amazingly gentle. Just like I had thought, whatever instincts he was hit with last night, he focused it all on the room, not me. 

The most humiliating moment was when she had gone and gotten Jake. I had made him wait outside, in the car, running, with the radio on, loud, so he could not overhear us. Thank God Leah and Seth weren't home. I would have died from embarrassment. It was bad enough that the Pack would likely hear everything from Jake's thoughts, anyway.

  
Jake had sat down next to me, holding my hand, glancing between me and Sue worriedly. When Sue explained everything and asked us to wait a while until our next _encounter_ , I was the one who had been unhappy with that recommendation. Once we had thanked Sue and had gotten back in the car, I tried to convince him that Sue was just worrying needlessly, that I would be fine by the next day. After all, I was walking. Granted, with Jake's help, but still, it was an improvement. And just as I had known he wouldn't, he didn't budge. He had gone on and on about how it was a good thing, how he would have some time to talk to Sam and see if he could figure out how to subdue his instincts for the future.

I had sighed sadly and he had squeezed my hand. "You're not turning into a nympho on me now, are you?" He teased.

I ended up blushing furiously and staring out my window. "No. I just...I'm not made of glass, you know? I was always treated that way by--" I had sucked in a breath, unwilling to say the name of the man I had broken nearly twenty four hours earlier. I was such a bad person. Here I was, only worrying about when my boyfriend could touch me again and not once did it enter my mind that I had hurt someone else. I had shaken my head, angry with myself. "Never mind."

Jake had sighed this time. "Bells, I'm not _him_. Alright? I know you're not made of glass but...you're not exactly made out of stone, either. You can still break, still fall. And I'll be damned if that's going to happen on my watch. Especially, if it's because of me. I love you too much."

He had been annoyed with me, I could tell, especially since I had made it obvious that _he_ was still on my mind. Yet, he had kept my hand in his the rest of the ride. I had kept quiet, afraid to offend him further. I should have known better. I hadn't even chosen him a full day before I was already going on about mine and Edward's relationship.

It still hurt. I couldn't deny that. Edward had been my everything and was supposed to be my forever. I was supposed to belong to his family, joining the ranks of the gorgeous vampires, being just as ferocious and deadly, hunting wildlife for eternity at Edward's side. That had always been my destiny. I had never wavered once in my decision and my path had been clear. Until Jacob, that is.

But as Jake held me close to him, my hand on his heart, moving slowly to its rhythm, it dawned on me. I could not give Jacob up. I just couldn't. I loved Edward but Jacob...Jacob I loved, too. And I could not lose him. I could not push him away from me to run off and get married (although I already had that last thing) and give away my life and become his enemy for the rest of his. I just couldn't. It was impulsive and I hadn't though it through and I knew Edward and the Cullens would never forgive me, especially since I hadn't even been married for an hour technically. But, in reality, I didn't need to. One look in Jacob's pained tight eyes and I knew. He was the one I couldn't live without. 

_I pulled away, staring at him._

_Jacob stared at me quizzically. "You have to go back now?"_

_I didn't say anything and that pained expression fleeted across his face before he hid it beneath that smile I had come to associate with being the one thing in the world that could always make me happy._   
_"This time, you gave me three dances. That beats our record, right?" He was referring to my prom from so long ago. I thought about him with his long hair in a ponytail held back by a rubber band. How nervous and young he had been. How gentle he had held me, how shy and embarrassed he had been to tell me what his father had said. I thought about him and compared him to this Jacob now. How things had changed drastically since that night I had been in that uncomfortable cast. So much had changed._

_I thought about him and Billy and the twins I had yet to be re-introduced to. I thought about the Pack and Charlie. I thought about my mom and how happy she was with Phil in Jacksonville. I thought about it all. Even that vision of the two black-haired children running into the forest._

_But most of all, I thought about how Jacob was looking at me right now. No matter how he tried to mask it, I could see him. I could see how scared he was and how hard he was trying not to make me upset on my wedding day. I could see how he was desperate for me to run back into his arms and never leave. But most of all, I could see that all he wanted was for me to be happy and that as much as it was killing him and he was going against everything he believed in, everything he knew to be true because of what he was, he was trying to give it to me._

_I hadn't even realized I'd been crying until he had moved forward, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "Why are you crying, Bells? This is supposed to be your day, remember?"_

_He tried to give me the Jacob smile but I ran into his arms, hitting up against his solid wall of chest, wrapping my own around him, never letting him go._

_"Bells..." I could hear the faint waver at the end of my name. And just like that, my decision was made. I knew who I couldn’t live without._

_I drew back, grabbing his face. "Get me out of here. Now."_

_He narrowed his eyes, trying to detect whether I was serious or if I was just having a moment of crisis._

_"Jacob. Get me. Out of. Here."_

_He stared at me, unsure, until he finally found in my expression what he'd been looking for. He stepped up towards me. "Are you sure, Bells? Are you sure you know what you're doing?"_

_I nodded._

_He picked me up in his arms. "Last chance, Bells."_

_I pulled him toward me, kissing him. "Go."_

_He gave me a brief nod and then started running away with me._

_I could hear Edward's voice not far behind. Of course, he'd heard our conversation and Jacob's thoughts in conjunction. Of course._

_"Bella?"_

_Naturally, I started to feel horrible. I did love Edward. I did. But, I couldn't be without Jake. I just couldn't. I know it was cowardly to go without a word to my new husband but he would understand. I just knew he would. He had always wanted me to have a human life. Now he would get his wish._

_"Bella!"_

_I covered my ears. "Jake, please go faster. Please."_

_He didn't say a word, just picked up speed like I asked him._

_"BELLA!"_

_I tightened my hold on my ears, unwilling to let_ that _voice permeate my brain._

_"Faster. Please, faster."_

_And he had moved even faster, never stopping until we were well within the borders of La Push._

_Once we had stopped, Jacob lowered me to my feet and I turned around to face him fully. He had his hand on his arm, steadying me, and stared right back at me. "You okay?" He whispered._

_I nodded. I pressed myself up against his chest, feeling his arms enveloping me._

  
_"You sure?" He whispered against my hairline._

_I nodded again and laid my head right above his heart. I felt him softly kiss my forehead._

_I knew I would regret the rashness of my actions later but right now, I couldn't think about it. I couldn't think about how hurt Edward must be, how humiliated he was in explaining to Carlisle and my father what happened. Charlie! Oh my God. And Renee! I shut my eyes tightly, willing those thoughts out of my head for now._

_"Jacob?"_

_I felt him take a deep breath and hold it. "Yeah, Bells?"_

_I drew back to look at his face. I could tell he was scared that I was about to change my mind. Again. How did I not see before how all of my decisions affected him so? I knew I had hurt him but never to this magnitude. I felt pain swelling in my chest to mirror exactly what I saw in his eyes. If only I could undo every bad thing I had ever done to him._

_"Can you..." I wasn't quite sure how to ask this without it sounding like I was afraid it was going to. I lowered my eyes and bit my lip nervously. "Can we go somewhere, just the two of us, where they won't find us?"_

_He cupped my chin lightly and brought my eyes up to meet his. "What do you mean, Bells?"_

_I could feel my cheeks start to flush as his gaze penetrated mine, showing me that he had indeed misunderstood my meaning, just like I didn't want him to. I loved him but everything was happening so fast. I was not ready for anything even close to that yet. Not for a while at least. And if we did...do_ that _, I wanted it to be something we would both remember pleasantly, not tinged with regret for me for rushing it and not for him to always wonder if I indeed regretted it. That wasn't fair to him. Not after everything I had already put him through. And after preparing myself for so long to take that step with Edward, there was no way I was prepared to take it with Jacob._

_"I just want to get away for awhile. Where no one can find us or will try to. I just...I need some rest. I don't want to think about anything tonight. I just need some time...before I deal with everything."_

_I watched him pleadingly and he seemed to get my meaning. His breath came out in a large whoosh of relief and he smiled his smile, putting me at ease instantly. "Sure thing, Bells. We can get a cabin. Do you want to head to my house and...change first?" His hand gestured towards the wedding dress I had forgotten I was wearing. I shook my head. I needed to get away. Now._

_He nodded and leaned down, picking me up in his arms. He started a brisk walk, heading in a direction that I had never gone in before on the reservation. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, sighing contentedly._

_"Bells, what about Charlie? Don't you want to call him and let him know you're alright?"_

_I winced. I was in no rush to be met with the interrogations of Chief Swan, trying to figure out why I had run away after I had gotten married, without a word to anyone, specifically him. No doubt Renee had probably already cried to him a time or two, worried out of her mind but also devastated that I would leave without telling her. That I had not given her any hint of my supposed unhappiness._

_I opened my eyes and pressed my hand against his heart, the rhythm under my palm soothing me enough to answer and chase all these thoughts away._

_"Well, I'm sure," I winced again at the thought of his name. God, how I had hurt him. He deserved someone much better than me. He deserved someone just as beautiful as his own self, a goddess incarnate, like Tanya. I did not deserve him and never really did. I didn't even deserve Jacob. Something I would make sure to stress in the near future so he didn't waste his time with me. I loved him enough to admit to myself that he deserved his own goddess and that goddess was not me. I was far from perfect, this afternoon's events proving that fact. And it seemed fate agreed with me, since he had not imprinted on me like he had hoped. I swallowed quietly although I was sure he could hear it. "They told him I was with you. He'll know I'm safe. I'm sure he's over the moon about it." And Charlie probably was to some extent. I wouldn't even be surprised to learn that he had gloated in front of Edward when he found out. My thoughts went back to my husband._ Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me...someday...

_I turned my face into Jacob's chest, almost as if to shield me from the images that then popped into my head of Edward's face, the pure agony burning in his golden (although I was sure they were near black at this point) eyes._

_Within minutes it seemed, Jacob had reached his destination, talked to the owner, and gotten us a cabin for the night. I waited outside, thankful no one else seemed to be around to witness me with my hair all disheveled, my make-up running, and my wedding dress in disarray. I must have been one scary sight. It was bad enough that Jake had to see it._

_He came back out, smiling, with key in hand, took mine, and walked us to the cabin we were going to spend the night in. I had to wonder. How had he gotten us a cabin with no money? I realized he might know the owners but that was a huge free giveaway for someone his age. He seemed to know his way around pretty well and the possibilities began to prey on my mind. Was it possible my Jacob really wasn't_ my _Jacob anymore? I shook my head at the thought, trying to clear it of such scenarios that made me nauseous as they played over and over again in my brain. I had no right. No prior claim to him. Hadn't I just decided that I would tell him to find someone else, someone better? What right did I have to feel the stirrings of jealousy?_

_We headed up the steps and he unlocked the door. I stepped inside first and he followed me._

_It was cozy, warm, comfortable to say the least. The bed sat right in the corner, next to the ladder that appeared to lead up to a loft above where I could just see two beds peeking out. On the other side of the ladder, there was a small incomplete kitchenette. On our immediate left, there was a small table with chairs, and glassware adorning the flat surface. Wooden paneling surrounded us along with a couple of windows with curtains hanging over them. I noticed a couple of lamps here and there. I ran my fingertips gently over the back of the wooden chair closest to me._

_I heard the door close behind me and it made me jump. I turned to see Jacob's eyes glued to the ground and a little bit of a darker color settling into his cheeks._

_"Um, so," He cleared his throat quietly. "Chris said it's yours for the next week. There's a hot tub out back that he put in here just for this unit. It's actually pretty cool." His eyes lifted to mine and he had a boyish grin on his face. Again, I sadly wondered just where his knowledge of this place had come from._

_When I didn't return his smile, he dropped his eyes and cleared his throat again. "So, um, if you want, I can sleep upstairs, or outside, or even head home and come back tomorrow, if...you know...you want to be alone."_

_I stepped forward and laid my hand on his cheek, urging him to look at me. He did and I smiled gently. "I don't want to be alone."_

_He bit his lip and nodded. "Okay. I'll take one of the beds upstairs." Before I could respond, he started to chatter nervously. "Or I could just phase and sleep outside. I don't get cold. Well, you knew that already. But, I can sleep just inside the trees that way definitely nobody'll see me but I'll be around in case you need me and--"_

_I silenced him with my fingertips. "Upstairs is fine."_

_He nodded again and I removed my hand. I glanced around the room again. I heard him clear his throat a third time and his voice was back to the confident Jacob I knew. "What are you going to change into tonight? You don't have anything with you."_

_I shrugged indifferently. "Not really sure." I honestly hadn't gotten that far. Spontaneity did not suit me apparently._

_He stared at me for a minute and then nodded. "I'll call Emily. She'll have something you can borrow."_

_He went to leave when I stopped him. "No, don't...do that." His brows arched questioningly. "It's just..." I bit my lip. "I don't want her to go out of her way and..." I took a deep breath. "I just don't...feel like seeing anyone right now." I watched him fearfully, afraid that that had come out wrong and not the way I had intended. I just couldn't face anyone right now, even someone as sweet and unassuming as Emily._

_He nodded in understanding. "Sure, sure. I'll run to her place quick, how about that? This way nobody comes here and you'll still have clothes? Good?" I smiled and nodded in response, letting out a breath of relief. "Thank you."_

_He grinned. "No problem. I'll be right back."_

_He turned to leave once more when again I stopped him, this time with my hand on his arm. "Jake?"_

_He faced me, the amusement on his expression abounds. "Yeah, Bells?"_

_"Will you do me a favor?" I could feel my cheeks heating up at the prospect of what I was about to ask him._

_He waited patiently._

_"Will you," I lifted my hair and turned around. "Unbutton me, please? I want to take a shower but I can't get out of this dress alone." I heard a sharp intake of breath and my face was on fire. I sincerely hoped he didn't think what I was afraid he was thinking right now. I really just wanted to take a shower and even though this dress would not be a keepsake for me, I had no desire to rip it just to be free of the garment._

_I waited what seemed like an eternity before I felt his fingers fumbling with the top pearl button. He quickly maneuvered each button out of their holes and before I knew it, my dress was unbuttoned halfway down my back. His warm fingertips brushed against my skin, making me gasp. The heat was scorching in that sensitive area he had never touched before. His ministrations stopped and I held my breath, afraid I had given him the wrong idea._

_The pad of his index finger glided over the back of my strapless bra that had been exposed. It then skirted the edge, feeling the skin bordering it. Back and forth, back and forth._

_I began wondering just what he would do and I surprised myself by what I found I was hoping he would actually do. It almost seemed as if all my thoughts and worries from before had mysteriously vanished, had been burned from me with the fire of his touch._

_But I was wrong and slightly disappointed when I felt his fingers continue their work. Not a minute later, the last button had been undone. And then the heat was gone. I held my dress tightly to me and whirled around, my cheeks still aflame._

_His eyes were darker than normal and I noticed his breathing had increased. I had to wonder, if his touch was like a flame that burned throughout my body to me, how would my touch be to him? Before I had a chance to test this theory, he cast his eyes down and opened the door. "I'll be back in a little while. Anything you might need besides clothes?"_

_I took a step forward. "Jake..."_

_He didn't look up. "Food. You got it. See you in a bit." He hurried out the door, practically slamming it behind him._

_I stared at the door, frowning. Had I done something wrong? Why was he running from me as if I had the plague? Was I so hideous in my mascara stained face and rat's nest hair and thin and sickly pale body that he couldn't stand the idea of holding me again, kissing me, or anything? The thought made my eyes start to water but I bit my lip and forced the tears back._

_No. I was just being oversensitive and irrational. Jake probably left because he didn't want either of us to make a mistake based solely on our hormones and insane attraction to one another. That was all._

_I took a deep breath and marched towards the end of the cabin in search of the bathroom._

Obviously, things had changed between us once Jacob returned to the cabin. One kiss that I had initiated when he had accidentally seen me walking around in a towel with nothing but simple undergarments on underneath it (I hadn’t heard him knocking and then walking in), had set everything that occurred last night in motion. And I didn’t regret it, not one bit. I loved Jacob with everything in me. I had been such a fool for ignoring the truth of it for so long. I still loved Edward but I was no longer the same girl who had fallen irrevocably in love with him. A part of my heart, a large part, now belonged to Jacob. And I couldn’t--no, wouldn’t give him up. I could only hope my former beloved could understand. 

I found out later that Sam and the other wolves had stayed behind at the wedding, making sure Seth and the other humans left safely. Jacob had replayed my words to Edward in his thoughts as he ran with me. That's what had caused Edward to stop chasing us. 

Edward.

At some point, I was going to have to face him and the family I had left behind. I owed them that much at the very least, especially Edward.

All of these thoughts whirled around in my head as I stared off into the horizon. I was sad that I'd had to choose, especially after being so sure of my first decision for so long, but I could not regret choosing Jacob. I just couldn't.

As if he heard my thoughts, Jacob came and sat by me, taking my hand in his large one. I loved the way it felt, so rough yet so soft, so warm. He intertwined our fingers and I smiled.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

I shrugged. "Everything. I think I beat Britney Spears there in the record for the shortest marriage in history."

Jake shrugged in return. "Only by an hour or two."

I laughed and so did he. But my laughter soon died out when I thought of all of it and how I had left things. Just how much people must be talking about Bella Swan, Forks' very own Runaway Bride. But most importantly, of my jilted husband and his family.

"I do feel bad, Jake. For how I left it, left everything. At some point, I know I have to face it all." I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his before intertwining our fingers again.

"Yeah, but not today. Today it's just us." He turned and kissed the top of my head. "And that being said, will you dance with me?"

I snorted and jerked up, thinking he was being his usual sarcastic self. But one look in his eyes told me he was serious. "There's no music."

He smiled and got to his feet, gently pulling me up with him. "There doesn’t need to be." He took me in his arms, much like he had yesterday, and began moving us around in slow, careful circles, always making sure he supported me.

He started humming a song I had never heard before and I laid my head on his chest, keeping my ear near his heart, my left hand in his right one. I smiled, closing my eyes as I listened to the familiar rhythm that I had fallen asleep to last night. "This is perfect. So perfect."

Jake stopped humming. "Really?"

I chuckled, nodding against him. "Yes."

He kissed my forehead and lingered there for a minute. "Good."

He then pulled away, much to my chagrin and led me back over to the rock. He rolled his eyes when I raised my brows in question. "There's something I want to give you." He sat next to me and pulled something out of his pocket. I could see some leather strings dangling from it.

He took my hand and kissed it before getting down on his knees in front of me. I could feel my heart start to race. On some level, I knew this was coming. Either choice meant a commitment in some way. But, honestly, with Jacob, I wasn't expecting _this_ quite this soon. 

He heard my quick heartbeat and rubbed my hand soothingly. "Easy, Bells. I'm not asking you to marry me."

I let out a sigh of relief, instantly worried he might take it the wrong way, that I didn't want that with him further on down the road.

"Not yet." He gave me a wink and I laughed breathlessly.

He kissed the inside of my wrist before holding out my hand and placing something in it. I studied it. It looked like a leather...wristband of some sort. It was woven intricately; it was an absolute work of art.

I gazed up into Jake's nervous expression. He seemed almost afraid that I wouldn't like it. "It's beautiful."

He smiled happily and took my free hand. "Glad you like it. I made it for you."

I grinned. "You did?"

He nodded and let go of my hand to take the leather back to start putting it on my right wrist. "Yeah. It's something I made when I was thinking of you when I was...injured. I knew I probably wouldn't get to give it to you...but, I still hoped I could one day."

I placed my left hand on his cheek, stroking his smooth russet skin gently with my thumb. He turned and kissed my hand before staring up at me. "It...symbolizes a promise. Sort of like a promise ring. I would have gotten you one of those but I can't afford it." He glanced up quickly. "Not yet. But, I'm going to save up for one. I should only have to fix a few more cars and then I should be--"

I grabbed him and kissed him. "It's perfect," I whispered to him. "It's from you. I'd rather have this than any ring the best money could buy."

He smiled warmly at me. "I know."

I smiled back and pulled him to me again. "Come here."

I kissed him with everything I felt for him. I kissed him with all the conviction I had, knowing I had made the right choice. This all felt...natural to me. And though I loved Edward, and always would, I chose life with Jacob. I know there would be days that I thought of _him_ , that there would be days the what if's would play loudly in my head, but I could not regret this. Never this. 

I drew back, gasping. "I love you, Jacob Ephraim Black. I choose you."

He opened his mouth, no doubt to make some sarcastic remark, considering what had already transpired between us, when his dark eyes widened and his jaw went slack.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Jake?"

He just kept staring and it made me think that maybe it was me. "Is there something on my face? Do I have a bug in my hair? Oh God, is something hanging out of my nose? Oh no, there is, isn't there?"

I went to wipe whatever it was away on the back of my fingers when he stopped me. There was an expression on his face that I could not read. Before I could get a chance to try, he bore down on me and kissed me with such passion and ferocity it sent my heart into overdrive.

I tried to move away, to get air, and when he sensed that I needed it, he released me, only to place kisses all over my face, my neck, down to the beginnings of my dress. Yes, the only thing Jake had been able to scrounge up for me before we left the cabin was a single white cotton dress from Emily’s knapsack of clothes she had sent over. Luckily, the dress covered most of my bruises.

Instead of dipping down like I expected him to do, he launched his kissing tirade on my arms down to both hands, turning them over and then making his way back up to my shoulders. I loved the affection he was showering on me but I had to know what he was thinking. "Um, Jake?"

He stopped and cupped my face softly. I then noticed the tears making their way silently down his russet cheeks. "I always knew...thank you, thank you, thank you." He pecked my lips repeatedly before burrowing his head into my neck, taking me in his big strong arms. "Oh God, Bells. Thank you."

To say I was confused was putting it lightly. Just what was he going on about? I knew he was happy that I had chosen him but after everything we had experienced, did he really think I wouldn't? I had chosen him when I asked him to take me away. I had chosen him when I asked him to stay with me in the bed at the cabin. I had chosen him when I had kissed him and asked him to touch me. I had chosen him when I lay happily worn out in his arms. I had chosen him when I dozed off to the sound of his heartbeat and light snoring, warm and safe and loved.

"Jacob."

He moved back to stare at me, his eyes still wet with tears.

I stroked his cheek. "Jake, I choose you. You know that, right?"

He grabbed my hand and placed my palm against his left cheek, leaning his head into my hand. "I do, Bells. I do. And I am going to make you happy. I am going to take care of you and give you everything you need. I am going to love you for the rest of my life. I'm yours, honey."

I smiled, unable to contain the warmth and excitement bubbling in my chest. "And I'm yours."

He grinned and picked me up in his arms, carrying me like the bride I had been not that long ago, carefully spinning us around. He looked so happy it was heartbreaking. I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. And for me to be the sudden inspiration behind it, I had no idea how it was possible but it made me happy to see him so carefree again.

He nuzzled my cheek and then rubbed my nose with his. "I love you, Bella."

Nothing else mattered to me except those four little words. My heart felt like it burst upon hearing them. He had told me often enough but it never evoked such deep rooted feelings before. It felt as if my love for Edward was miniscule and had been pushed back, to forever remain a whisper of a memory. Like nothing could overshadow Jake's feelings for me and mine for him. When I looked in Jake's eyes, I _believed_ it. And I felt worthy, like Jake was made to love me all along and I him. Like we fit together. Perfectly. It didn't matter how fragile and human I was. It didn't matter that someday Jake might imprint and be taken away from me, leaving me permanently shattered, never to be put back together again. Our past hurts no longer mattered. None of it did. It was just me and Jake.

"I love you, Jake." His smiling face lit up in an ecstatic grin and he put our foreheads together.

And now I knew. This was always where I was supposed to be. Here in Jake's arms, laughing crazily along with him at some sort of private joke between us, but neither of us really knowing what it was.

It felt as if night had passed and we were now in the light, blinded by each other in the new breaking dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> First Written: 11/27/10  
> Re-edited: 12/1/19


End file.
